See Something, Say Something

If you see something, say something. 

We know these words well from subway rides and security sweeps. They remind us that safe environments are the product of collective vigilance and not just the work of professionals. They speak to our joint accountability to create sheltered and protective climates free of threat. They also require that we translate what we see into an audible response when we suspect something’s not right. It may be nothing. But what if it’s something?

This kind of focused attention and response requires activation energy, the animating force that pushes us to react, which can be challenging when inertia is a default position. Fortunately for us, the Torah mandates that we “not stand idly by,” and this imperative extends far beyond issues of personal security. In the same verse where we are told not to slander others, we are told explicitly, “Do not stand by at your neighbor's blood” (Lev. 19:16); here we see the sequential movement from speech to action. Failure to stop the words can lead to emotional and physical damage. 

The verse ends “I am God,” as if to say, “you may refuse to see, but I see.” The Talmud adds that God sees if a person is drowning or subject to the violence of wild animals or robbers, and God sees if someone is there who could have helped (Sanhedrin 73a). Maimonides notes that in situations where we fail to speak up and prevent wrongdoing, we are complicit in the problem and held liable (Hilkhot De’ot 6:7). In other words, when we see someone in pain or when we witness a breach of our most treasured values, including respect for other human beings, we are halakhically and morally obligated to speak up. It’s not someone else’s job to respond. It’s mine. It's yours.

Sure, we might ask first ourselves if we have the facts right, have understood the situation accurately or have the authority to say something. There is often another psychological dimension at play that becomes a roadblock: diffusion of responsibility. When many people witness a problem or a crime, it’s easy to think someone else will speak out, freeing us of the obligation. It’s not dissimilar to sending an email with multiple recipients that gets no reply. The sender wanted everyone to respond, but, most likely, no one will. “Someone else will take care of it,” we think. “I’m off the hook.” 

Yet an orphaned email is a far cry from having a front row seat to bad behavior and saying nothing. Let’s say, for example, we’re in a store and see someone shoplifting and do nothing. We watch someone cheat on an exam and score a perfect grade but keep it to ourselves, even when it may impact our own standing in the class. Or someone gets bullied right in front of us, but we fail to utter a word. “Someone else will speak out.”

And then no one else does. The victim now contends with two layers of pain: the heartbreaking suffering and insecurity that rough words engender and the sense that not one person came to his or her aid. The pain is compounded by profound isolation. “What hurts the victim most,” wrote Elie Wiesel, “is not the cruelty of the oppressor, but the silence of the bystander.”

What is required in such a moment is not bystanding but upstanding, especially in the company of others who do not speak out. To be an upstander is to act honorably and with righteousness in the face of injustice. A bystander is a passive observer who fails to intervene. “To be moral,” writes Rabbi Jonathan Sacks in “To Heal a Fractured World,” “is to live with and for others, sharing their responsibility, participating in their suffering, protesting their wrongs, arguing their cause.”

Here are some practical direct and indirect tips in an upstander moment:

• Distract the perpetrator. You can do something as simple as dropping your keys, talking loudly or engaging the perpetrator in conversation about another topic. 
• Calmly and assertively (but not aggressively) ask the perpetrator to stop. 
• Remind the perpetrator that his or her behavior does not reflect the values of our community.
• Ask the victim if he or she is OK. 
• Encourage the victim to walk away and offer to accompany him or her.

Remember that your safety also matters. If you don’t feel safe intervening directly or by causing a distraction, then you should approach a security guard or other authority figure.

Even with practical tips, it is sometimes really, really hard to make the right decision. Sometimes we’re shocked into silence when we witness something wrong, and words suddenly escape us. The moment passes, and we find ourselves full of regret. We have both experienced this and asked ourselves difficult questions: Why didn’t I say something? Why didn’t I do something? Life can be a challenging teacher. We try better next time. We remind ourselves that we can do hard things. Living a deeply religious and moral life can make uncomfortable demands that make us more sensitive, more thoughtful and more ethical human beings.

We are fortunate to be part of a beautiful, mission-driven university community that upholds the value of Torat Chesed so that we can live lives of compassion, kindness and meaning. Sometimes we fall short of this ideal; some recent incidents on campus underscore the need for all of us to cultivate a community of mutual care and respect, especially towards those unlike us. We know God’s eyes are upon us always, watching us and hoping that we will strive to be upstanders in the classrooms, courts, fields, corridors and study halls of life. 

Photo Caption: Rubin Hall and the Five Core Torah Values

Photo Credit: Jonathan Levin / The Commentator