Loss and the Letter S

There’s a special club that I like to call the “Dead Parent Club.” 

As the name suggests, it’s the subculture of people who lost a parent when they were young. In my experience, there is an instant kinship felt between me and those who lost their parents as children. I felt this way when I sat down with Anina Jasper-Brody (SCW ‘26) and Joe Gross (SSSB ‘24) to discuss their podcast “The Letter S.” 

When Jasper-Brody was in her senior year of high school, she decided to make her senior project a podcast that grapples with loss. Having lost her father when she was eight years old, Jasper-Brody wanted to create something that would help her figure out how to cope with her loss. The first person that she interviewed was Joe Gross, who later became her co-host in 2024. Their podcast can be found on Spotify, YouTube and Instagram. 

Jasper-Brody and Gross went to high school together, but met in Queens when Jasper-Brody needed advice surrounding her mother’s remarriage. The two connected, so in 2022 when Jasper-Brody began the project, Gross was her first interviewee. 

The title of the podcast, “The Letter S” is a nod towards the tendency for people to assume that everyone has parents and to not acknowledge the lived reality that many people just have one parent. When asked what the title means to him, Gross said it’s a reminder of something so central in his life. That “it’s not necessarily such a negative thing, but everything that happened with dropping the letter ‘S’” is crucial to who he is, and that the lack of “S” functions as a symbol of “everything that I can learn with it.” For Jasper-Brody, when people would say “parents” instead of “parent,” it was incredibly triggering. But now she leans into the conversations that that simple letter “S” can open up. 

Part of what “The Letter S” hopes to accomplish is trying to make conversations surrounding grief, death and loss more common. They want to remove the shame that is woven into these feelings. They also want to help individuals who haven’t experienced loss to be better equipped when they, or someone close to them does. As Gross put it, “When you go through something different, you can learn from hearing about how these people helped themselves.” 

Jasper-Brody and Gross also hope to build awareness around the subtle conversations that can often alienate and exclude people who have lost parents. Jasper-Brody shared a story of how all of her roommates were discussing their fathers and she just sat there. Once her roommates noticed, they responded with pity. People can often understand that someone has lost a parent, but they do not understand the fundamental shift that occurs between them and those around them. 

When I asked them for any advice that they have for individuals who have to navigate uncomfortable conversations around loss, Gross imparted what I think is the golden rule: don’t lead with pity. Most people will automatically apologize, and that’s okay, but show that you care without overstepping any lines. Jasper-Brody also shared that one of the reasons she doesn’t tell people that her father passed away is because of the awkwardness of the conversation. “People always say, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry’ and then you say, ‘It’s okay.’ Obviously it isn’t okay, but what else are you supposed to say?” 

“The Letter S” is a study in having painful conversations with tenderness and grace. Jasper-Brody and Gross make sure to navigate these conversations carefully and sensitively while being open to listening and learning. One thing that they each learned is that there are so many perspectives and approaches to grief. One person they interviewed mentioned that he rarely visits the cemetery, which was surprising to Gross who visits his father a few times a year. 

As we closed our conversation, I was struck by how kind and motivated Jasper-Brody and Gross are in understanding their own losses and the losses of others. To close, I asked them what they hope people can gain from listening to “The Letter S.” Gross shared that “if people understand this meaning of life … [then you] can reflect on your own life.” He adds, “Do more with your parents. Continue learning and growing in life.”

Jasper-Brody shared that she hopes to build more awareness around the topic and highlight that “everyone will lose a parent at some point in their life,” and you can learn from those who experienced it when they were young: “Everyone can gain from this podcast.” 

“The Letter S” opens up crucial conversations around grief, loss and childhood. Even if you haven’t lost a parent, give it a listen because you will learn so much more about how others navigate this world.

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Photo Caption: Anina Jasper-Brody and Joe Gross in 2024 

Photo Credit: The Letter S Podcast