The Real World
The Jewish bubble. We know it. We have mixed feelings about it. We have to leave it eventually — or at least some of us do. Many who choose to attend YU do so because they want to remain in the Orthodox Jewish community for a short while longer before entering what is considered to be “the real world” — a place where you have to miss work for the chagim, receive inquisitive questions concerning Judaism and perhaps feel a sense of “otherness.”
A significant population of YU students have attended Jewish institutions exclusively for the entirety of their lives, thereby surrounding themselves with other like-minded individuals. By the time of their graduation, many YU students have essentially only socialized with fellow Jews. Therefore it is only natural that once they leave the warm and comforting environment of YU they will be forced to face an adjustment. This may come in the form of needing to explain fundamental elements of a Jewish observant lifestyle, be on the defensive concerning Israel or even merely being conscious of one’s usage of Jewish slang.
At least that is what former finance major Mila Krugman (SSSB ’24) and current financial analyst at DigitalBridge has experienced. “People don’t really understand your lingo as much, you know, you say words like schlep, hock, or stam, random words like that,” said Krugman, a Boston native. “In general, it’s kind of just a different vernacular.” Although Krugman works alongside other Jews, she has had to explain her commitment to Shabbos and chagim.
However, Krugman always emphasizes, “In no way, shape or form is my taking time off for religious purposes a way for me to get out of work.” In fact, Krugman said that her “biggest priority” is to finish up any loose ends before she leaves, in order to prevent her work from becoming someone else’s responsibility. Overall, Krugman’s experience has largely been positive and accommodating.
Rikki Kolodny (SCW ’24), a current masters student in Boston University’s School of Public Health studying biostatistics and epidemiology, has also had a positive experience so far, despite being one out of 25 Orthodox students.
“I actually have midterms during the week of Sukkot, and two midterms that I’m having are both on Sukkot, so I will not be able to take them,” said Kolodny, who originally hails from Brooklyn. “When I emailed my professors, I told them I would be missing school for the Jewish New Year, and then I was like, how do I explain what Sukkot is?”
That is how Kolodny found herself doing internet research about Sukkot for the first time in her life. “I told them it’s the Fall Harvest Festival, and when we celebrate the year long cycle of completing the Torah,” said Kolodny. She also shared that her professors were “very understanding” and are allowing her to complete her exams a different week.
Despite wearing a Star of David ring and a map of Israel pendant around her neck, Kolodny has not experienced any anti-Israel sentiments or antisemitism thus far. In fact, both Kolodny and Krugman said that most of the Jewish related questions they receive are from a place of genuine curiosity and interest.
“People are very warm and understanding about Judaism. So any questions that I get, and I do get a lot of questions, all really come from a place of just curiosity and wanting to understand it,” said Krugman. Although, she has also been the recipient of many Israel-related questions specifically from people who do not identify as pro-Israel. “But that’s why you stay educated and you stay confident, and if people are willing to make you uncomfortable by asking you a question that isn’t very kind, then you should be just as willing to make them uncomfortable with an answer that stumps them.”
On the other hand, Jonathan Wenger (YC ’24), a current software engineer at Geico, has not been obliged to explain Israel, Shabbos, or his kippah, because his position is fully remote. His coworkers are completely unaware that Wenger is an observant Jew.
“I just explained to my manager that I’m taking off basically every Thursday and Friday in the month of October,” said Wenger. He also mentioned the benefits regarding the flexibility that a remote position offers, especially concerning Fridays, despite the lack of an office environment.
It is interesting to note that he has had a similar experience to Kolodny and Krugman in regard to being the recipient of Jewish-related questions. “People are generally asking because they’re curious. They’re not asking because they’re judgmental,” he said. “I think people respect people who are true to their religion, even if it’s a religion they don’t necessarily agree with.”
Moreover, Kolodny, Krugman and Wenger all emphasized that they miss the camaraderie, the chevra-type of environment that is easily found in YU. “There’s definitely a sense of comfort that comes from just being surrounded by like-minded people, both students and professors and faculty and administration,” said Krugman.
“I think people often take it for granted that you’re kind of surrounded, especially if you grew up frum and you went to yeshiva day school, yeshiva high school, a year or two in Israel, then YU or Stern, that you’re with such a like minded group of people,” said Wenger. “I didn’t realize how much I miss it once I’m out of it, even though, thank God I’m not far and I can see people on a Shabbos, and could go to YU during the week, it’s definitely something that I miss seeing every day.”
Photo Caption: Students at the 2024 Yeshiva University Commencement
Photo Credit: Yeshiva University
