Finding Light in the Darkness: Charlene Aminoff’s Message of Faith and Kindness
After the excitement of the chagim, the month of Cheshvan can feel unusually quiet. On October 12, Charlene Aminoff came to Stern College to speak about the meaning behind Rosh Chodesh and how darkness can shift into light focusing on the month of Cheshvan. Aminoff is the founder and CEO of Gali’s Couture Wigs, a public speaker and wife and mother of five.
Aminoff began by describing the spiritual closeness people experience during Elul and Tishrei. During Elul, she explained, “The King is in the field,” meaning that Hashem is especially close to the Jewish people. Aminoff explained that although Cheshvan can feel dark and empty following the spiritual high of the previous months, there is more to Cheshvan than its bitterness. Rather than viewing this period as a withdrawal from spiritual growth, Aminoff encouraged her audience to see it as an opportunity to carry the inspiration of the chagim into everyday life. She connected the month to rain, blessing, renewal and growth, emphasizing that spiritual connection continues even when the excitement of the holidays fades.
To explain how people can maintain faith during hardship, Aminoff compared life to a tapestry. The back of a tapestry looks messy, with threads going in different directions, while the front reveals a complete picture. She explained, “This is not the finished picture. This is not the front of the tapestry.” People may not understand why certain events happen, but Aminoff believes Hashem sees the entire picture. She connected this idea to the words from Bereishit, “Vayehi erev, vayehi boker,” meaning, “And there was evening, and there was morning.” As she explained, “There will be darkness, but then there will be day.” Her message was that difficult times do not have to last forever.
To illustrate this point, Aminoff shared an anecdote involving 32 girls with Down syndrome and other developmental disabilities at a Shabbaton. All weekend, the girls earned tokens for performing mitzvot and helping others. A particularly powerful moment occurred when a participant named Malki became upset when she was told to sit on the floor rather than on a couch. She withdrew to a corner and refused to rejoin the group.
Baila, another participant, noticed. She walked over and gave Malki every token she had earned. Soon the other girls did the same, offering their tokens and making room for Malki in their circle. None of them questioned her reaction or judged her; they simply welcomed her back. Aminoff said she was deeply moved by their generosity and she used the moment to challenge: “Are you going to spread light in someone else’s darkness? Or are you going to let them stay in the darkness while you enjoy life?”
Aminoff connected this story to the image of a candle lighting another candle. She explained, “When one candle lights another, the first candle doesn’t lose any of its own light. Instead, there’s now even more light in the room. And the same is true with us.” She continued, “Sometimes, the way we bring light back into our own lives is by bringing light into someone else’s.” She also connected this idea to the Hebrew word vinatnu, meaning “and they shall give,” which reads the same forward and backward, representing that both the giver and recipient give and receive in an interaction. As she stated, “When we give, we don’t walk away with less. We walk away with more.” Her message was that kindness benefits both the person receiving help and the person giving it.
Aminoff experienced many examples of these small kindnesses during her own cancer treatment. She received flowers, care packages and meals from people she had previously helped and social media followers. Her daughters’ school excused them from their remaining assignments and examinations for the rest of the year. During radiation treatment, she suffered severe burns and began feeling discouraged, but Aminoff saw the little moments of chesed that others did for her and her family as examples of “Vayehi erev, vayehi boker,” light arriving during darkness.
TAC President Hannah Schachter (SCW ‘27) said her takeaway is that the world can sometimes feel dark, but people have the ability to bring light into it. Aminoff reminded her that kindness does not always require looking far beyond one’s everyday life. Instead, people can look at their actions and consider how they can help others. Schachter also recognized that giving to others can be difficult, especially when someone is already struggling personally. However, she explained that continuing to give, even during difficult times, helps make the world a better place.
Ultimately, Aminoff’s speech showed that faith does not mean having an easy life or understanding every difficulty. Her experiences demonstrated that even people with strong emunah face painful and uncertain moments. However, she encouraged her audience to keep trusting Hashem and to bring light into the lives of others. Aminoff’s message was simple: When people share their light with others, they do not lose their own; they bring more light into the world.
Photo Caption: Charlene Aminoff
Photo Credit: Meira Elkaim
