Panel at Stern Empowers Students to Live Authentically and Lead Meaningfully
On Tuesday night, March 17, Stern College for Women hosted a panel in the Beren beit midrash about what real influence is with Dean of Torah Studies Shoshana Shechter and Tzipora Grodko, psychotherapist and host of the “Stories of Hope” podcast. The panel was moderated by Erica Brown, vice provost for values and leadership. Topics of the conversation included having self-esteem, authenticity and living a meaningful life.
“I think we live in a very confusing time, a time when social media can really inflate and deflate users,” Brown told The Commentator. “The Sacks-Herenstein Center wanted to host an event at Stern to think about genuine influence that’s sourced in the Torah and how to use social media responsibly and with filters to promote positivity and positive self-image, instead of offering the poison of comparisons and generating low self-esteem.”
Following Brown’s introductory remarks, she encouraged Grodko and Schechter to share their background and how they became the prominent leaders they are today.
Grodko, who now hosts a podcast with a large audience, explained that her public career began with an observation that there is a lack in the Jewish community when it comes to supporting its singles. Motivated to make a change, she spoke at her shul about “things every shadchan should know” in front of only 16 people, most of whom were friends and family. Despite the lack of in-person support, a video of her speech was posted online, and within 48 hours, 15,000 people saw it. This encouraged her to begin her journey as the host of the “Stories of Hope” podcast — a platform that shares inspiring stories of couples who, against odds, found each other. The message she imparted upon the students present was clear: We must ask ourselves what the community is lacking, and despite the intimidation, take action to create change and fill in that gap.
Schechter shared that, ironically, she never wanted to go into education. After she applied to Journalism programs, she substituted in Frisch High School, and surprisingly discovered her love for teaching. From that point on, she knew it would be her career.
Further in the conversation, Brown asked the students in the room to raise their hands if they have ever deleted social media. Immediately, the room was filled with hands in the air. With this, she asked Grodko how she maintains the positivity on her Instagram page when it is so evident that social media can easily become a hub of negativity.
When answering the question, Grodko emphasized how much intention matters. She promised herself when she first downloaded Instagram to always make sure she has pure intentions before posting. With strong boundaries and clear values, she has shown her followers and herself how it is possible to spread positivity while remaining grounded and upbeat. “Live mindfully, not mindlessly,” Grodko said to the audience.
The conversation then opened up to self-esteem and individuality. Schechter remarked that oftentimes there is tension between the community’s standards and the individual’s standards. The goal when finding your individuality shouldn’t be to leave the community, but rather to find your individuality within the community. Schechter tells her children, “Don’t be a product of the community, be a contributor.”
On this topic of self-esteem, Grodko confessed that her own self-esteem used to be dependent on being confident in her career path. When she and her friends were asked about their career plans, she would hide in the bathroom and wait for the topic to change, simply to avoid answering. When she couldn’t avoid the question, she would say evasively that she wanted a degree in Tikkun HaOlam, repairing the world. She eventually realized that her self-esteem wouldn’t magically improve with age — she had to work on it now. Her message to the audience was that you don’t need to change yourself for others to understand you.
Reflecting on the panel, Tali Novick (SCW ‘27) told The Commentator, “I found it really meaningful to hear Dean Schechter and Grodko talk about the changing role of friendships over the course of one’s lifetime, but how valuing and investing in friendships is crucial at any stage of life.”
Brown concluded the panel by jokingly giving Grodko a Tikkun HaOlam degree.
“Every person was born to provide impact,” Grodko told The Commentator. “Don’t wait to feel ready and don’t wait for the answers. Simply ask yourselves what does the world need and take every baby step that’s familiar and God will lead you.”
Photo Caption: Grodko speaking on the panel next to Schechter and Brown
Photo Credit: The Commentator
