YU Commemorates Oct. 7 with “An Evening on Trauma and Healing”
On Sept. 17, Yeshiva University held a memorial service to commemorate Oct. 7. Hundreds of students gathered in Lamport Auditorium for the program run jointly by the Sacks-Herenstein Center for Values and Leadership, the Office of Student Life and the undergraduate student governments (BCSG and YSU). It was advertised as a night on trauma and healing.
Dr. Erica Brown opened the program, discussing the sacrifices that Israeli soldiers, citizens and the families of hostages face daily, explaining how individuals handle grief differently. She then introduced both the theme of dealing with trauma and healing for the night and the upcoming speakers.
The first speaker was Aiden Harow (YC ‘26), president of the Yeshiva Student Union, who spoke about his father, an IDF veteran and active reservist. “For me, Oct. 7 was the last day I knew for sure my father was alive,” Harow told the audience. He then introduced the Misheberach l’Chayalim, the blessing on behalf of the safety of soldiers, that the Y-Studs would be singing, acknowledging that everyone present has been praying for someone they care about serving in the IDF.
Next, YU President Ari Berman shared his personal experiences with the war, addressing the evening’s central theme: What does healing truly mean while our soldiers remain in danger and the conflict continues? He recounted the words of his neighbor, whose son was killed. The neighbor said on Tisha B’Av that “Every day for me is Tisha B’Av. Every single day for me after Oct. 7 is Yom Hazikaron.” Berman recounted his neighbor’s explanation: On those solemn days, he feels less alone because his grief is collectively shared, stating that “The presence, care and the prayers of others is a source of comfort.”
Drawing a connection to the approaching holidays, Berman explored the shofar and the rabbinic debate over whether its essential meaning lies in hearing it or in sounding it. He taught that the shofar expresses the sound of tears, and that when “one Jew cries and another listens … that is the redemption.” He explained that this was the goal of the program as a whole: to listen and learn from others’ grief.
After Aliza Billet (SCW ‘26) read a poem written by acclaimed poet Rachel Sharansky Danziger, Irit Ben Arye, widow of Haim Ben Arye, shared her husband’s story. Haim was a beloved school bus driver in Gush Katif, who had deep relationships with every student who rode his bus, always noticing when a student was in a bad mood or had forgotten to bring their lunch to school. He was also a true talmid chacham who finished the entire Talmud three and a half times.
On Oct. 7, when Irit and Haim started hearing about the horrors taking place, Haim insisted on going to shul. Irit believes that he went to be with children whose fathers had gone to fight, ensuring that they were happy on Simchat Torah. As Haim continued hearing about the extent of the attack, he decided to drive his bus as close as he could to the war zones. Haim’s mission was to extract survivors and bring them to a designated safe location. The survivors were covered in blood and smoke and were in terrible emotional states, having witnessed horrific sights.
“The worst thing for Haim was the sadness, a bus filled with babies and children in total silence for 2.5 hours of driving. Haim’s bus is … full of joy and singing and laughing,” Irit said. On Oct. 8, Haim came home crying but ready when called for his next mission. He prided himself on knowing all of Israel’s roads without a map or GPS, but after the absolute terror and destruction, he could no longer recognize them.
A few days later, Haim died by suicide. His mental pain from PTSD caused by the horrors of Oct. 7 was too much to bear.
During the shiva period, many people approached Irit to share heartwarming memories and stories of Haim’s kindness and care for every student who entered his bus. On his gravestone, they wrote “a driver and an educator.” Irit explained that he was a “driver for a profession but an educator with all his heart.” His true passion was taking care of the children on his bus.
Irit ended with a message to always seek help and trust Hashem. Quoting from the parsha, Irit said, “U’vacharta ba’chayim — choose life.” She then invited everyone to say Mizmor L’todah, Tehillim 100, which fittingly talks about serving God with joy. The Y-Studs performed the same perek musically.
Following that, Abraham Arbesfeld Torah Dean of RIETS Rabbi Lebowitz talked about a student who asked if there was extra permission to cry on Rosh Hashanah this year, considering what Am Yisrael is going through. While rabbinic sources conflict on whether Yom Tov prohibits crying or whether true teshuva requires it, Lebowitz taught that this year, we must cry in certain moments of grief. “It’s not a day of mourning, but it’s a day of feeling. A day of very, very deep feeling,” he explained. He ended with a bracha for our tefillot to be accepted and “an end to the trauma, a beginning to the healing.”
Then, Betty Khirman (SCW ‘26), president of the Beren Campus Student Government, spoke about her sister joining the IDF and returning for reserve duty. She described the uncertainty: turning on her phone every morning to check if her sister was on the casualty list. When they reunited, “the weight of war poured into that embrace, tears saying what words simply do not.” She ended by describing the continuing uncertainty and fear about the future.
Next, Dean Cypess spoke about how since Oct. 7 she has been at a loss for words, trying to balance so many emotions. Throughout these moments, Cypess said, she has always turned to music. She then passionately played a musical lament on her harpsichord.
After Cypess’s harpsichord demonstration, Eli Rockoff (YC ‘26) presented an art piece created by Marc Provisor, depicting the artist visiting the Nova site with his son who had been attending the festival on Oct. 7. Charli Ernstein (SCW ‘27) then shared a poem that she composed on Yom Hazikaron this past year.
The night ended with one last song performed by the Y-Studs, closing remarks by Ms. Aliza Abrams Konig, senior program director of the Sacks-Herenstein Center and the singing of “Hatikvah.”
“The memorial was a meaningful way to commemorate Oct. 7,” Chavi Major (SCW ‘26) told The Commentator. “It balanced acknowledging difficult events with reflecting on our community’s healing over the past year.”
The memorial service reinforced that while the path to healing will not be straightforward or easy, the YU community remains united in prayer and hope for better days ahead.
Photo Caption: Irit Ben Arye speaking about her late husband Haim
Photo Credit: Elizabeth Kohl
