I Didn’t Want to be Here

I ended up in Stern by chance. I visited a few colleges, but I did not love them. I liked other colleges my parents did not, and since they are ever-so-kindly paying for my tuition, those were not an option either. Then there were the colleges I simply did not get into. After all of that, I was left with Stern.

I had visited Stern alongside the other colleges, and I have to say, I was beyond overwhelmed. Firstly, I am not a city girl at heart. Frankly, I feel like New York City is a bright, busy petri dish that smells like weed, cigarettes and urine. Then there were the Stern buildings themselves, which felt cramped and confusing compared to my open, bright, simple square-on-top-of-square high school. When my 17-year-old self walked into a classroom and saw a bunch of girls wearing sheitels, I freaked out, it felt like I was being led to the chuppah as I strolled past them. Also, everyone seemed like a genius, and as a potential pre-med kid, I felt like I would be destined to fail here. To summarize, no, I was not super psyched to come to Stern.

As I grew closer to orientation day, my nights became restless, full of interminable fears. Would I make new friends? How do I even find a textbook? What if I get lost? What if my roommates are mean? What if my room is disgusting? What if I have no friends in my classes? 

Then the day arrived, Aug. 20, no more worrying — it was game time. I pulled up to Brookdale, quite late if I might add, shaking. My mom accompanied me to my room, and shockingly, it was not disgusting. I looked next door, and one of my best friends from seminary was living next to me. The rest of orientation was really fun. It definitely was a little overwhelming, but it was mostly just a good time. 

On Thursday, Stern bought us tickets to see the musical SIX. On our way, my friend said to me, “This could not happen at any college besides Stern. All of my other friends are texting me about how stressed they are, and how boring orientation is, and here we are going to a Broadway musical.” She was right, Stern College was pleasantly starting to feel more like Camp Stern.

At the end of the week, I decided to stay in for orientation Shabbat, and it was the best choice I could have made. On Friday night, I accidentally sat next to girls I did not know. As Bob Ross would say, it was a happy accident: those girls were kind, welcoming and warm. Over the course of the week, I discovered that their inviting demeanor was not exceptional here, but a standard upheld by many of my fellow students and all of my teachers. While I definitely felt like I was drowning in impending assignments and tests, every teacher took the time to say that they would always be available to help if we were confused or falling behind; maybe pre-med is a viable option for me after all. 

Don’t get me wrong — I’m still very scared of classes that have any title that includes “bio”, “orgo” or “ology”, but ever since I have been here, I’ve been flooded by support from senior students. They tell me about their favorite classes, provide me with study tips and make it clear to me that if I need any help, I shouldn’t hesitate to reach out. I am still slightly frightened, but a little bit of free tutoring and a whole lot of support never hurt anyone. 

I think I am going to be just fine. I ended up in Stern by chance, so I have to say I feel really lucky. I’m not sure that Yeshiva University is right for everyone, but I know now that it is right for me.

Photo Caption: Stern College for Women

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons