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7 Up, 7 Down

7 Up

  1. YU App. Totally unexpected. Totally impressive. Though we are disappointed that there is no “My YU” button, no “YU Angel,” and, most importantly, no “YU connects” button.
  2. Hotel in the Heights? Developers have begun work on a 54 room hotel in Washington Heights. YU Students: Is an uptown shabbaton in our future? RIETS: No.
  3. ITS. This summer, Chinese hackers broke into tens of universities across the U.S. stealing social security numbers and email passwords; YU was spared. Thanks Marc Milstein.
  4. Gym renovations. After 25 years of wear and tear, the Macs have a spankin’ new gym floor, lights, and logos. Coming soon: the ‘ship!
  5. De’Soloveichik. Director of the Center for Torah and Western Thought Rabbi Meir Soloveichik--as Sephardi as George W. Bush--has become the rabbi of the Spanish Portuguese Synagogue. Mabruk!
  6. Rabbi Kathie Lee Gifford? Who wants to be a rabbi? Yes, that’s right. “I want to get my Orthodox rabbinical degree,” she said on the Today show. RIETS Bochein Rabbi Schwartz said she didn’t pass the Bechina.
  7. Cory Booker. New Jersey’s almost Jewish senator wins the Democratic primary in New Jersey by delivering a dvar torah. Amen, brother! Do we see a sichas mussar in his future?

7 Down

  1. School Before Chagim. Seriously, this makes little sense. C’mon Registrar Let’s pull the plug on starting before Sukkot!
  2. Lamp Posts. Nowhere but here will you be endlessly reminded that Nowhere but here can be Nowhere but here. Now, Nowhere but here is also on the lamp posts...Nowhere but here.
  3. YU Bacon Disappears. YU’s most useful publication: MIA. Where, oh where will we find free dinner? Come back, please.
  4. James Otteson. Quitting a week before classes? Seriously, not cool. At least he really liked Yeshiva students.
  5. Spitzer, Weiner, The Associate. A shot at redemption?
  6. The Pool. Obviously, the pool is closed. Swim team will be practicing in the Harlem River, beside the crew team. Go Macs!
  7. Caf Prices. First everyone becomes a “premium plan” member and then everything goes up in price in the caf? What’s next, grill your own chicken - and pay? Let’s get this under control, please.