7 Up, 7 Down
- Women. Looks like they’re moving up in the world—if all goes well, Ginny Rometty will soon become Augusta National Golf Club’s first female member. Becoming CEO of IBM: meh. Joining a golf club: breaking the glass ceiling.
- Drawing. Millions of grown men and women have gone back to the drawing board to reclaim their childhood Crayola crowns with DrawSomething, a new popular smart-phone app. Can’t draw? Don’t worry, neither can your friends.
- Romney. Mitt Romney recently gained the endorsement of several congressmen while others in the GOP have encouraged Rick Santorum to step out of the race. As usual, Santorum will fizzle out the backside of this one.
- Apple Shareholders. Get ready for some fourth-quarter magic, boys. And we’re not talking March Madness, we’re talking Wall Street Wallabies. That’s right; Apple will begin giving dividends for the first time since 1995.
- March. You lucky dog, you. Gaga turned 26 this week, just before you turned into April. How’s that for a turn of phrase ;-)?
- Thinking. The terribly difficult task led to some impressive moves at this week’s Stern production of So You Think You Can Dance. Don’t worry, though, boys; they’ll be performing again in Mercury Bar on Saturday night.
- Xenophobia. The racy fear brought huge laughs at the Yeshiva College Dramatics Society’s spring semester comedy, The Foreigner. No ESL students were harmed in the production of the show.
- ObamaCare. The President’s healthcare plan is under close scrutiny and in danger of being declared unconstitutional. But regardless of your opinion on the matter, face it—it’s pretty cool to witness this crucial moment in U.S. history.
- Poetry. The world of writing has lost a giant with the death of Adrienne Rich. Without you, the feminist movement could not have accomplished what it has. Thank you for inspiring a generation.
- Ford. The American car manufacturer has lagged behind its new competitor Tesla Motors, and is only now scrapping together an electric car plant in Palo Alto. Sorry Henry, the Model T is about to lose to its neighbor, the Model S.
- Fruity Cheese. No, not a panel for tolerance of queer cheeses. We mean strawberry cream cheese. Who the hell wants to mix dessert-y sweet with an onion bagel?
- YC Arts. It appears painting, drawing, drama, and speech, along with anything else artistic that’s not music is going the way of the YU budget: down the tubes. Perhaps YC should consider calling itself a Liberal Art College.
- Long-distance Relationships. They suck when they’re romantic. And apparently they suck when they’re rabbinic, too. The Amsterdam Orthodox community just went through a messy break-up with Rabbi Aryeh Ralbag who lived in Brooklyn throughout his tenure as their spiritual leader.
- The new iPad. Even the most faithful Apple aficionados have complained about the new tablet’s battery. They claim it heats up too quickly and takes too long to recharge. Apple CEO Tim Cooke had only one comment on the matter: “That’s what she said.”